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A fiery heart burning away
the acid through the cuts and burns dripping
burning holes in your stomach like bullets through your wrist
smoking gun puffing like a pothead
heart glowing red in the pitch black
bleeding softly in the hands of you
your like acid one touch and you burn my soul
eat me alive and spit me out
crush me with your hate
burn me with your feelings
your love is tainted like your heart
pitch black
creeping and crawling my heart burns
my heart like a light bulb burns out
my heart crushed and stuffed
set afire and torn to pieces
dismantled and stitched up
my heart bleeds no more
my heart hurts no more
my heart lives no more
ripping my heart out piece by piece
blood dripping softly through the bullet holes
filling my red swimming pool full.
©2007-2009 ~IceFireX
:iconicefirex:

Author's Comments

heart my heart
baby my heart
you kill me hard

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconicefirex:
awwh thanks :D :D

--
Inhale, Exhale, Forget to Breathe.
myspace:weed:
:icondoorfromheaven:
o.O wow...just


wow. o.O that is definitely one way to look at...romance. ahaha

--
| falling in love is like getting a preview of heaven |

i know how it feels
when love goes away.
:heart:
tread softly.
:iconicefirex:
yeah very wierd way.

--
Inhale, Exhale, Forget to Breathe.
myspace:weed:
:icondisassembly-boy:
wow, you can't write at all! You call that a poem? ha ha!

--
When you smile you are so sweet
Let's pretend that i'm naive
Close my eyes and I can't see
While I've got my tongue in cheek
:iconicefirex:
w.e kid,

--
Inhale, Exhale, Forget to Breathe.
myspace:weed:
:icondoorfromheaven:
Sorry, but I could not help but notice your comment--or lack there of. If you are not joking, I would reframe from commenting such things. If you do not like a poem, then it is your duty to say why and give some pointers in which cause the author of the poem might find benefit. Otherwise, you're taking up space and just being a thorn in deviantart's side. This is an art place where people come to seek feedback--not to be ridiculed.

--
| falling in love is like getting a preview of heaven |

i know how it feels
when love goes away.
:heart:
tread softly.
:icondisassembly-boy:
ok, well let me clarify the reasons for you, as it's blantantly obvious.. It's just way too redundant, the words used and the sequence they're used in.. the way they're shot back and forth into an oblvion of ridiculousness. I think the word Heart was used way too much.. to the point where it almost defeated the purpose of "heart" in this poem.. it just doesn't work.. it doesn't make sense.. there's my constructive criticism..

--
When you smile you are so sweet
Let's pretend that i'm naive
Close my eyes and I can't see
While I've got my tongue in cheek
:iconicefirex:
uhm i rly dnt care its my poem,dnt like it then stop commenting my stuff

--
Inhale, Exhale, Forget to Breathe.
myspace:weed:

Details

August 8, 2007
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